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me shaving in a faux hawk.
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because I can
I strolled through the Broad Ripple “Art” Fair and was disappointed yet again with the lack of real art. But I did notice all the gay couples.
Then I went to Trader Joe’s and picked up some necessities. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I did notice two gay couples.
Definition of COUPLE
1.a : two persons married, engaged, or otherwise romantically pairedb : two persons paired together2.: pair, brace3.something that joins or links two things together: as two equal and opposite forces that act along parallel linesThis has become a foreign concept to me. I haven’t been coupled with anyone in my life. I’ve always been a separate and unequal entity in the relationships that I’ve had. I’ve often tried to fool myself into believing that I was coupled with someone, but I remember how much I enjoy my independence and how I felt with the people that I’ve been with; suffocated and oppressed. Couples are supposed to be two equal and opposite forces that act along parallel lines. I can honestly say that I’ve never had that… EVER. I wouldn’t know what being happy in a relationship is because I’ve never experienced it. The closest I have come to it was only when I deluded myself into believing I was happy.I set out today with the concept of not being in a relationship as an okay state. But then I had it rammed down my psyche at every turn and I began to feel lonely once more.Last night I went out and because I am an attractive, well mannered, intelligent, and an over all “good guy” not one person spoke to me… well, except for a “couple” that wanted intimate relations with me for one night.I just don’t know what more I can do to shake this feeling of loneliness. I might be full of shit or I might not. At this point, all I can do is sit around and feel sorry for myself or pretend that nothing is wrong. Neither one of those options are healthy.I wish I could remove all feelings about this for about a month. But I can’t. So here I sit with the only union I’m happy with- that between my fingertips and the keys of my computer. -
squeaky toy
I haven’t blogged about my life in a very long time! So… here it is.
School-
For now, I am waiting on my grade. If (I’m pretty sure “When”) I pass, I will have my teaching writing certificate in hand. This, hopefully, will get me in at Ivy Tech, ITT, and/or Franklin to teach English. I could teach without the certificate, but I think it garners me a small pay bump.
I’m also attempting to take my GRE either this summer or in the fall. I said I wasn’t going to grad school at IUPUI but I found out that, as an English major, I can create my own curriculum. I have taken 5 grad level writing courses and when I get into grad school, I will take 5 literature courses. I will not be doing a thesis so I have to work extra hard on the classes I will take.
Home/Work-
I’m still loving that I moved to Irvington. This cute little township (former?) has everything so close! My little house is so cute. It has its quirks but I love all the foliage and flowers that are sprouting up on their own. I also have wild strawberries growing!! My new Starbucks locale is literally one mile from my house and I have wonderful co-workers and a great boss. I miss my north side Starbucks partners but I have no reservation voicing that I am glad I don’t work at that location anymore. We are busy at my new store but not gouge-my-eyes-out-and-go-fetal-after-a-shift busy. I was afraid that the tips at the new store were going to be less, but on average, they have been a bit more!!
Love-
I have met two really nice guys this year. One was very genuine and sweet but didn’t reciprocate any affection at all. I don’t consider myself an overtly affectionate person but I do enjoy it. Without it I become disinterested. The other guy had self-proclaimed issues and didn’t seem to want to let them go long enough to even date me. We had a nice time together but I suppose it would be best if I claimed that it was his loss. Don’t read that as conceited please! I truly feel that I’m a good enough guy to look past issues. Well anywho, I’m at the point, once again, where I am urged to focus on myself. I need to start working out again and get my arms back up to python status lol (yeah right!) and to eat healthier. I’ve been on a meat binge for the past month. Time to clock that part-time vegetarian back in.
Well, there you have it. My lil life described in so many words.
- current obsession: gardening and knitting
- listening to: Howard Jones- No One is to Blame
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patchouli oil, cheap wine, tacos, and passive aggressive suburban revenge fantasies
the next 10 minutes of my john waters life.
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#mothart
(via reqbat)
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#sbux #failbux #truestory
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#subwayart
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#fashionisforfashionpeople



